So to not to bother you with the details, my lecture went very well, and we had a very good class where there was a lot of student interactions with me, and a very good class discussion; I basically looked like I knew what the hell I was doing. After class was over with, I asked my boss if she thought I did a okay job, and she seemed enthusiastic enough about my class, that I wasn't worried about our meeting about my performance a couple of hours later (my class ended at 10. and the meeting was at noon).
Now let's fast forward two hours - I'm plan on backtracking for another story further down, but let's finish one story off before we begin another. It's meeting time, and my boss and I actually turn different corners at the same time, so I say, "Perfect timing." and we walked into her office together. She started the meeting by telling me that she was pleased with the class as a whole, and asked me how I had felt about it? I told her what I just told you people, that I thought it went well, and that I felt that overall everyone seemed to be really clicking today; I was glad I'd threatened them on Wednesday with their lives if they didn't make me look good for my observation. After that, we discussed my lecturing style. She paid me a complement a couple of times: saying that she could tell that I was smart (fooled her!), and that I seemed very comfortable at the front of the classroom. However, she then went on to say that I spoke to "high" for some of the students, and that though most seemed to really be jiving with me, a few just didn't seem to get it. My response to this statement, and I'm going to try to be as close to verbatim on this as possible, was, "I feel that I need to put a little bit of stress on my students intellectually, because I don't think that learning can be done if they are not having to stretch to meet a goal. And that's why I talk at them more intellectually than I could, because I want them to grow in this class." I think she fell for my bullshit remarks, but I do feel that there is a lot of truth in what I said to her. I know that I grow intellectually when I have someone to stress me mentally, and that's how I keep myself from platowing or becoming stagnant... which, to be honest, is one of the reasons why I left my last job; I just felt that I was never challenged and my brain, when I wasn't putting my own stresses upon it, was becoming lethargic. Regardless of that fact, I feel that her comment about me talking too academic to my students is really what's wrong with society at the moment. We, as a society, have decided that we need to dumb down our conversations and dialogues so that everyone can understand what we are talking about. Instead of letting the few slip behind, and allowing the others to flourish, we as a society feel that we should always allow those few to catch up. But what does this do to the majority? It creates a scenario where by placating the few, we stigmatize the many, and the majority is punished for the incompentencies of the minority.
So, why should I talk down to my students, when the majority understand not only what I'm asking, but are growing from our discussion? And to be honest, they do appear to be growing; by my stressing their intellectual abilities and taking them slightly out of their comfort zones, I'm creating a sphere inside my classroom where they want to answer my questions - some appear to be chomping at the bits to do this - and they are starting to ask me questions, too, that challenges me to answer them. It's not my problem really, that some can't hang, if they're not able to think at a higher level, maybe they're not in the right place -an university/college - to begin with. Basically, what I'm saying is this: I'm not planning on dumbing down my lectures for two or three people, when the rest of my class is growing.
Okay, so that's my rant about what's wrong with society, in general. Let's flashback to Wednesday, and talk about one of my students, and why he's a dumbass. On Monday, the personal essay papers were due. I actually gave them an extension, because of my swine flu, so they all had more than enough time to actually do their papers and if any problems arose, they should have been able to solve their own problems and get them to me on time. However, Wednesday after class, a student who has been notoriously absent from my class came up to me, and asked if I had received his emailed paper. Now, at this point in the semester, he's already has 6 absences, and I'm patiently waiting for him to be absent one more time so I can run (or maybe skip) to the English department and drop him like a sack of potatoes. Why? you ask. Because the kid's been a thorn in my side, continually giving lame excuses for being absent, but then expecting me to hold his hand and help him out since his first absences the second week of school. So, when he came to me after class on Wednesday, I wasn't in the best of mindsets when I saw him strolling my way. But the question he asked, if I had received his email, took me off balance. I told him that "No, I hadn't received an email from him since last week, when he was telling me that he wasn't going to be in class again, but on top of that, I don't accept emailed papers, as stated in the syllabus, they must be put into my hand." His response was that his email must have missed up, that his printer hadn't been working, and another excuse that I can't remember. Regardless, I must have been in a nice mood, because I told him that I was going to be nice, and though I don't accept late papers, I was going to make an exception this time. So, i told him, here's a direct quote: "That he'd better go find a printer, right now, print it out, and give it to me, like five minutes ago; and he'd better never do this again." So he asked me where my office is, even though he's been there before, and scampered off to who know's where.
Ten minutes later, I look on my iPhone, and see I have a new message. Guess who it's from? This stupid student. He had actually sent me his God Damn paper over an email, after I explicitly told him to go find a printer, print his GD paper off, and put it in my GD hand! So, my response to him was something along the lines of telling him that: I had told him to put this paper in my hand, why did you email it to me? And then, I waited for a response from him or to see him show up before I left my office for the day. But do you think my expectations where fulfilled with this guy? No! He never responded back to my email, or came running with his paper in his hand. So, I was pissed. I felt like I'd given him a gift, and he'd pissed on it; and too top it off, his essay didn't follow the prompt I gave everyone; wasn't long enough; and was poorly written, when he had an extra two days on top of the weekend to work on it, because obviously, his email was working fine when telling me he couldn't show up for class last week because he was "sick" and I had just received another email from him, so miraclously the most important email he ever sent me is of course going to screw up somehow.
Regardless, I was pissed for most of Wednesday and Thursday. However, when he showed up on Friday, after I got done cursing in my mind that I still can't drop him like he's hot, all that anger/resentment for some reason just went away. So after class I saw him smoking outside, I walked up to him, and asked why he would send me an email of his paper, when I told him explicitly, that he needed to put it in my hand (and isn't that what she said!). Sorry, getting back to the story... i then went on to tell him that I'm sorry, but he received a zero for that paper, because by this point it was way too late to turn it in. He looked at me, and said that, "he feels like for this class, he's always having to try to catch up for some reason." I asked him why he thought that was, knowing full well what the answer was, but wanting him to work it out himself. He responded with, "I think I've been absent too many times already." Thanking my stars that he came to this conclusion all on his own, I said, "I think you're right. " And I then said that the only advice I could give him at this point, is that he still had the opportunity to drop the class without it affecting his GPA negatively, I then told him who to talk to, and added if he needed me to, I'd be willing to sign off on the sheet. So we'll wait and see... however, I'm not holding my breathe on the matter.
Too bad my boss didn't see this exchange either, I felt that it went rather well, all pains in the ass this kid has caused me considered. But nonetheless, going back to my very first point, I was right, I had fooled her into believing I actually knew what I was doing, and had appeared to be a very competent teacher in front of my class. So I have a job in the Spring. Oh, and that Shakespeare class I'm going to be helping teach: Senior Level, bitches. No one get's to teach at that level! ButI somehow weaseled my way into the mind of my Shakespeare professor, and he for whatever reason thought of me, when this opportunity presented itself. So it's going to be 3 doctorate students, who are close to, if not already working on, their dissertations, and me, some idiot who know's how to lie really well, and fool doctors into thinking that I'm smart. Now, if I can only fool one of those female seniors... never mind.
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