I dropped that kid... gave him every opportunity available, but he just wouldn't stop disappointing me in my expectations. Really, I should have dropped him last week sometime, but I was either too busy or too lazy to get around to it; i'm really not sure which, probably a little bit of A and B. So Monday rolled around, and dropping him from my class was on my to do list, but before I could get to the English department office after I was done teaching for the day, he motioned for me while I was in my classroom before I started teaching my 9am class to come out into the hallway to talk to him. He asked me if I would allow him to drop the class with a 'W,' meaning the dropped class wouldn't affect his GPA, and I, for some damn reason, said sure, and told him to go get the form he needed, to fill it out, and to come see me during my office hours and I'd sign off on it for him. So once I finished teaching for the day, I checked my email and discovered yet another email from this guy, telling me that he couldn't drop online, and what did he need to do. So I then went to the office, got the correct form, and filled it out for him, and my response to his email told him to come to my office, grab the form that I had filled out for him and to take it to the registrar. Do you think he did that? Nope, he never showed up. So by this point, I was fed up with it, and said to myself that if I had to walk that drop form down to the registrar he wasn't going to be getting a W, I was going to fail his ass, which is what he really deserved in the first place.
So let's fast forward a couple of hours, I'm just now getting out of my Monday night American Border Lit class (it's 9pm, so this is like 11 hours after I sent the initial email), and I discover an email from this damn kid, telling me that he had class from 10-12 and he couldn't show up during office hours. Now this is a total lie, because he's shown up before during my office hours... basically at this point, I said to myself, "F- this, I was tired of this kid continually lying to me." So even though I hadn't taken the form yet, I told him he was dropped with a WF (that means I both dropped him and failed him), and he should have contacted me earlier, because after I didn't get a response from him, and he didn't show up to my office, I had done this ultimate act of vengeance upon him and his GPA. So, I skipped to the English Department on Tuesday and dropped him like a hot potato. Now, do I feel justified in this? Hell yes, I do! Why you ask? Because he was a continual pain in my side, always lying to me and giving me fake excuses, and I was tired of it. And remember, this is the same kid who I gave an opportunity to turn in his paper late, but we've already gone over that story. So, for all the nay sayers out there, telling me that I should have given him another opportunity, I tell you to shut your pie hole. I gave him two more opportunities than I have given the rest of my students, and he looked a gift horse in the mouth (yes, I referenced myself as a horse), then squatted and took a shat on my gifts... but not my mouth. Cause that's definitely icky.
However, there have been other ordeals that I have not spoken about, which I feel must be exclaimed. I had a magnificent desk in my second class. It was beautiful; hard wood, big, sturdy, I could have stood on it and screamed at the kids like Satan, and it wouldn't have crumbled under my weight... yet a thief came and took it away from me! And by taking it away, they took away all my sense of superiority, and my sign of authority, over all the students. And what did they leave me with? A lecturn... a cool phallic symbol, but not something that I can throw my feet on top of, or something that I want to sit upon in front of my class; it just leaves me open to too many dirty humored jokes, that I would have to redirect at myself, and how would that help me in retain my wonderful power over my students?
I lamented the loss of my desk. I might have even cried myself to sleep a night or two. But what was I do to? I looked at other classroom, and their desk were gone, too, so I couldn't steal one, and leave some other schlub without a desk. Eventually I found out that my room was not "designated" for a desk, and that is why they took it away... but my rebuttal was that it was a classroom, the teacher needs a desk. Especially when I have 25 students, and only 25 student desk. So I literally had no where to put my shit. However, this argument did not sway anyone to my cause.
However, I am nothing, if not ingenious. So, this is what I did: I saw another desk waiting for surplus out in the hall, and I TOOK THAT BITCH! And to signify what I am willing to do for the sake of my authority, I did it in front of my entire class, while they looked on in awe and maybe a sense of slight horror for my thievery. Nonetheless, I took it, placed it in my room, and have been sitting on top of it ever sense. Now, while it's not nearly as austere as my old desk, it does get the job done, and allows me a place to rest my head and sleep. However, the story does not end there.
So I've been fretting about the fact that another thief is going to come and steal this inferior desk too, and then what am I going to do? So, I don't remember who actually gave me this idea, but I was in my Monday night class (different day than the night spoken about above) and someone said I should put a Do Not Remove sign on the desk, and I thought, "Genius! Why didn't I think of that?" So, fast forward a couple of days: that's exactly what I've done... again in front of my class, who thought it was hilarious. Hopefully this fools the everyman who comes and removes funiture from my classroom; this likely ends that saga of my fretting over the meaningful desk, but I guess we'll wait and see.
However, I do have a fun story about sitting on desk, and a student. I was in my 8am class, and had just hopped onto the desk to sit. A student ask me why I did that? And I told her the truth: that I like reining above all my students, and making them feel small, while I retain power over them in the classroom... she didn't like this response, nor did she find it very funny. So I gave a second, less true answer: that I like to be able to see all the students' faces, and by sitting on the desk, I could. This seemed to reassure her, and I went on with the class. Now, while the first response was probably more truer than the second (even though the second answer was also true-ish) I do find it funny, that when they think I'm joking, I'm usually telling them the truth about how I feel. I really do like sitting on top of the desk, because they are forced to pay attention to me, and regard me as their superior in this classroom dynamic. Why? Because I'm a narcistical maniac, who never had power before, and now that I do, I reign over all in this proverbial hell that I call English 1310.
Last thing: So, I pretty much hate my Monday night class. Can't stand the teacher's pedagogy (that means teaching style) and most of the students in there are quite annoying to me, mainly because they're first year Grad Students who don't really know their ass from a hole in the ground. But getting back to the teacher: he's just not that good. I like him personally, but professionally, he kinda lame. He keeps changing the syllabus, and adding more and more work onto our already heavy work load for this particular class.
So on Monday, he handed back our papers that we turned in two weeks ago. And the grade ranges from C- to A-, with only one person getting an A-. I got a B+, and felt that was really the grade I deserved for that paper, because I was pretty disinterested in the subject matter, and was rewriting that thing about 15 minutes before class started to make it pertain more to the subject matter and not the theory that I was using to view the subject matter. So, a B+ was fine with me, and I figured since I had two more papers still to do, I'd make up for it in the long run.
However, the doctorate student beside me, who's been bitching about this class the entire semester, wasn't happy with the grade she got, and continued to get progressively more pissed off as the class went on; this might be because the professor, stupidly, gave the papers back at the beginning of class, instead of the end like he really should have... especially with people getting C-'s, which I bet were quite a few, after looking at my fellow students' faces.
Fast forward to Wednesday: The doctorate student sees me in the hall studying, and rolls up on me. She says that she and another doctorate student are going to go speak to the Dean of the English department about this particular professor, and she knows that I have also spoken to the professor about the work load, too - which I have, I had a conference with him, and he was saying that he didn't know about the university's standard when it came to papers and such, and I told him that what we are doing was a pretty heavy, it's usually one whole less paper than what he's having us do. Going back, she asked me if I wanted to join her and this other doctorate student when they went to talk to the dean, and I QUICKLY distanced myself from that idea. There was no way in hell I was going to get mixed up in those shenanigans. And that would also not be the way to introduce myself to the freaking dean of the English department: "Hi dean, I'm here to bitch about one of you tenor tracked adjunct professor. How's it going?" No way in hell, as I already said before.
So, to sum up, it looks like I'm a hot commodity around here, even more so than tartar sauce at an all you can eat fish place! I'm so wanted, people want me in their conspiracy groups against other people. Awesome, screw the Shriners, I'm wanted by the most prestigious of secret groups: The Let's Bitch About our Work Load and Try to Screw over a Teacher Secret Society. I see nothing but bad things happen to that little group... I smelled the proverbial fart in the wind, and I'm will be staying up wind, laughing when they finally step in the big turd on their adventure to harp about how things are unfair in their classroom.
That's a cardinal rule, and is telling when teachers don't follow it: only distribute graded papers at the END of class AS THEY'RE LEAVING THE ROOM. Otherwise, everyone has time to flip through them and work up a temper about both justified and unjustified comments. And no one is better at doing this than a pissed off graduate student who knows how crushingly important grades are to their future employment opportunities.
ReplyDeleteIt's better to make them sleep on it. I actually tell my students to sit with their papers for two days before talking to me about them, as initial reactions often are unproductive when channeled into revision and reevaluation.
All that said, I'm suprised that a graduate (albeit mostly first-year graduate) seminar displayed such a low-leaning grade spread. Typically, a C is unheard of and even a low B might as well be an F. I'm wondering how the students are being prepared to engage the teacher's standards if everyone is doing so horribly. Maybe he had too high expectations for the paper; it gave little time for in-depth research and revision. A good reason to do away with that 3rd paper and stick with the traditional midterm paper (10-15 pg) and final paper (20-25 pg).
yeah, I don't know what to tell you. I've made my comments to the guy, and that's all I'm willing to do. So, I'll deal.
ReplyDeleteAs for the papers, I do the same thing. I make them wait 24 hours before I will talk to them about their papers. I actually had my Shakespeare teacher tell us that, and thought it was a good idea; so I stole it... Like I do all good ideas. ;0)