Day 1

Lets start with the beginning, and explore what has now come to be called The Meeting of the Dunces that was my moving day.

It starts off all well and good: I woke at 7:30 and got a shower, and then awoke my father at 8, so we could go get the Uhaul. Now, while finding the guy who was renting the uhaul was a little annoying, and I had to call so he could tell me where he was at in a huge office building, when it was all said and done, it wasn't too unpleasant. And even though he screwed me out of 1/4 a tank of gas, because he said that the uhaul had 3/4ths of a tank when in actuality it only had ½ (not bitter about that at all), if that was the only thing that I could bitch about, then, I would consider myself a happy camper... this is not the case.

We got the Uhaul loaded with some drama, but it did get finished; when all said and done; it was pretty full, but we could have loaded more in if we had needed to. Then we (the family) had to wait for 11 o'clock to roll around, because I was called the Thursday before, and told that I couldn't pick up my keys until noon.

The road trip wasn't too eventful. We did have to stop once, because somehow my parent's hood decided to come unlatched and it was vibrating along with the music and really freaking my parents out. And then even though the caravan of car (me in the Uhaul, and Nick in the Camry) were behind them, they decided to stop in the fire lane at a local library in fort worth to fix it, instead of going into the actual parking lot, and letting us easily turn into the library parking lot with them... this was still not too bad.

The move in was relatively easy, and my buddy Ryan, whose place I can walk to in 2 minutes, came over and helped us out. My Mom unpacked all the boxes, while the men did the heavily lifting.... insert sexist comment here.

Nick told me at some point during us passing each other with boxes that the tire sensor in my car had gone off, but I wasn't worried about it. I've been getting those tires fixed on a regular basis, because of all the road construction that's been going on in Arlington. So I'm used to having a slow leak, and getting it fixed at an indeterminate time in my future schedule, that I call my life.

I figured since we got me moved in, in about 1 hour, and it was only now 1:30, we'd have more than enough time before the pizza would get here (I had ordered Papa John's the night before, and it was being delivered at 2:30).

Nick, Ryan and I went to the Uhaul after filling the damn thing up with $50 worth of gas, when I really only should have paid half of that, since I only used 1/4 of a tank to get up here. When Nick was backing my car up, I noticed that the tire he mentioned two paragraphs earlier was as flat as I want my stomach to be, that is to say, as flat as a tortilla.

When we dropped off the Uhaul, some punk-ass kid who worked there came up to me, and asked if I wanted to clean the back of the Uhaul. I said, "No." I was not wanting to clean the Uhaul, and he asked me if I could. I at this point was starting to get really annoyed, and went English major on him. I said something like, "No I could not clean the back, because I do not have anything to clean it with. Nor was I particularly wiling to; however, why do I need to clean it anyways." He stated it was filthy... I went and looked at it, and decided to disagree with his assessment. However, I told him to bring me something to sweep it out with, so I could get out of here. After using the broom for 20 seconds, to sweep out about 20 leaves, I told him it was done, slung a few choice words about him while getting Nick and Ryan (he was in earshot, so I bet he heard) and then went to go look at my tire.

It was flat.

So, instead of changing it right there, we decided to drive to the gas station at the corner, and fill it with air, and to then change it back at my place. This game plan, while a good one, proved to not be applicable, when it was all said and done.

We got back to my place, and waited a short amount of time for the pizza to show up. The movers then ate it all, but were nice enough to leave me about 8 beers, which I'm still slowly finishing off.

After a little while longer, my Dad was ready to go, it is about 4 at this point, and when my dad gets this particular bug in his bonnet, he's not easily dissuaded. So, I told them that I'm going to go look at my tire, and see how it looked before they left. It's flat again. So with everyone looking at me, I am trying to change this stupid tire, but the damn nut would not break. Finally after torquing on it for a good 2 minutes, I gave up and ask my dad to try to break it. He couldn't break it either... the only thing I broke was my damn toe, kicking the tire.

So, it's good my Mom is a member of AAA. We called them, and told them the problem, that we're not able to break this damn nut, and asked if they would come out and try to do something with it... preferably change my tire.

So, now my Dad's stuck here for another thirty minutes, because my Mom doesn't want to leave, since the AAA membership is in her name, and now they're both worried about what I'm going to do about my tire.

So the AAA guy finally shows up, gets his wrench out, puts it on the security lock nut... and he can't break the damn thing off either. Finally, he gives up, tells my parents that he doesn't usually do this, and starts to plug and refill my tire.

By this point, I'm frantically calling Discount Tires, because they're the one who put that damn nut on so tightly that I couldn't get it off, to see if they can fix my tire. It's 4:45 when I call, they close at 5; so that's not going to happen.

I then call Walmart, a suggestion from Ryan, because they too have a tire shop, and it's really close to the discount tire... so close that I'm able to curse at the Discount tire and throw half peace signs at them while I drive past at 5:05 towards the Walmart.

The tech at Walmart tells me that it'll be about an hour to an hour and a half, before they can get to my car. I say, "Okay" and walk in to buy groceries while I wait. Fast forward an hour and $150 later, and I'm waiting for them to tell me that I need a new tire (which I already new).

Fast forward another forty minutes... the stupid woman who works as the customer rep for the garage section of the Walmart comes up to me, and tells me that the mechanic that had looked at my tire found absolutely nothing wrong with it. I stare at her dumbfounded, because I know there's a HUGE plug in the tire, and it needs to be fixed... I at this point am starting to silently hurl the filthiest curse words at this woman. Ryan at this point chimes in, and asks, "Did the tech look at the right tire?"

I at this point am silently praising him. The woman starts looking at the paperwork, and suprise suprise, the idiot hadn't. I tell her, that I expect my car to get the hell back on that lift right now, because I've already been here for almost two hours at this point, and this (the incompetency of Walmart) is getting ridiculous.

She at this point can see I'm getting more and more pissed by the second, and says of course. So I ask her if I've just become her number one priority, and she says that the moment the idiot tech (my name for the mechanic, not hers) gets done with this other tire, he'll get right back on mine. Another hour passes.

At this point, I'm furious, and am openly mocking the customer service woman, the two mechanics out in the garage, and I’m not even muttering the curse words at this point, but am openly throwing F-bombs and GDs left and right to every person that I can see, and this does include customers who are coming up to the woman, because she apparently also cuts keys... I find this ironic, because she's obviously not the sharpest knife in the draw.

Finally, this woman comes up to me, and tells me that the mechanic says I need a new tire, and I say to her, "D'uh. I told them that 2 and a half hours ago." She leaves me again, and then comes back with some numbers for pricing. She expected me to go with the cheap ass tire, but I'm not an idiot, I get the cheap one, and I'll be back there tomorrow, so I picked the most expensive one. Now, let me have poetic license for one moment, and set the scene: The room is gray, a gray that used to be white, but one too many dirty children had rubbed their redneck unwashed dirty hands against the wall, and it was now permanently off white. On top of that, the floor, a cheap linoleum, had not seen a mop and water since this particular Walmart had been born when the devil came to earth one night, squatted, and then squeezed out this new hell that was the building. On top of all of this, the humming from the florescent lights has started to give me a headache, and I was so pissed that I had stopped cussing and gotten really quite. At this stage, Tony (and Nick can back me on this) stops talking and starts hitting.

The woman starts asking questions, and I am answering with monosyllabic answers, mainly Yes's and No's and I’m pretty sure I grunted at one point, too. Also, I’m not responding to any of her trite apologies about my wait. Finally, when she's done, she gives me a total, and tells me that once the put the new tire’s on, I can pay, and leave. 30 minutes pass.

Finally, they've pulled my car back into the garage, and put it back onto the lift. Now the mechanic (a younger one than the original who looked at the wrong f'ing tire) starts to try to get the tire off. Ryan and I see this guy working, trying to get this damn tire off for a good 15 minutes, I think, but truthfully, I seeing red by this point, and might have blacked out for a second... however, he was trying long enough, that I asked the woman to go see what's the idiots (my words again) problem, and why the hell he hasn't gotten the damn tire off yet. She says okay, and walks out again. She doesn't return for 5 minutes.

Finally, the younger mechanic (the one trying to get my tire off) comes in, and tells me that he can't get the nut to break, and that he also broke my security lock on my tire. He then precedes to hand me my newly broken security lock, and says I need to take it to discount tire. I don't say anything I just take the lock. Once I turn around, I start throwing cuss words again. I cuss so loudly and with such vehemence, that it shocks a man who's roughly in his 40s, and he asks me what's wrong. I start ranting about the incompetency of Walmart, and the ordeal that I’ve been going through for the last 3 hours and some odd minutes. He says he's sorry to hear about my problems, and walks away. I hope that I dissuaded him from buying anything at the Walmart, but probably, he wanted to get away from the man who was cussing and very likely foaming at the mouth.

Finally, I grab my groceries, and take them to the bay door that my car is parked at. However, I can't put them in, because my car is still on the lift, and the mechanic who was working on my car is nowhere to be seen. Finally I see him, he had somehow scampered in without me knowing, and was talking to the other idiot mechanic (yes, the one who looked at the wrong tire), who was working on some other slub's car; suckers.

I got up to him, interrupt him mid-sentence, and tell him that I’m ready to leave, and could he please get my damn car off his gd lift gate. He moves... quickly.

After I had gotten my groceries into my car, I discover that the air pressure sensor was on again telling me the air pressure was low, and asked the same mechanic to please fill up my tire enough, so I could actually get home.

Once I finally get home, I put my groceries up, and go over to Ryan's, so we can order some takeout, since neither one of us wants to cook.

They (Red Boxx, a pretty tasty Chinese place up here) gets there pretty quickly, I ate about 1/4 of my food, and then went home, took a shower and went to bed, wondering what the hell I've gotten myself into.

Just as a P.S. to this story about the first day:

I did get my tire fixed on Monday. It cost me $16 for the road hazard, and I got a new tire for free along with new security tire nuts.